Oyena Gwebityala

I see many of my friends are thinking about the same thing that has been on my mind a lot lately i.e. what happens to the dreams we had in our youth, what happens to wanting to conquer the world and saving all the poor and marginalized? I won’t pretend to know what happens to everyone or even most people. What I know is what happened to me and perhaps that is a good start for any inductive proof process.

But before I go on about what happened I best begin with what I wanted to do when I was say 18 or 19. I wanted to be the best president the developed world will ever see, I wanted to go save souls in Nigeria and other nations where I felt needed to have souls saved (I am a christian you see).

Then something happened, I can’t tell you what it is now, but maybe some day. All I can say now is that it was tragic and it happened to a person I love with all my heart. And after that the developing world and the lost souls of Africa seemed to matter less and less until they did not matter anymore. All I want now is to make life better for myself and my loved one, to show this particular person that life is not the bytch that it’s been for the passed few years. And that means I need some security, a picket fence and a hedge oh and a bulldog just to seal the deal.

Don’t get me wrong, I will still travel the world on 7 seas (as the song goes), but I won’t give up my day job to be on the mission field or for the country. I have just realised (like Richard put it) that I am ordinary, I get hurt like everybody else and my loved ones get hurt as well. And the basic mammalian instinct has kicked in, my survival and that of my loved ones comes first.

It was a painful reality that I have had to face, and I won’t even try to fight it. Let me close this post by saying here here to a 20 year bond and car insurance!

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!! I have just realised that I have 3 months of full time varsity studies left. I started looking back at what I had done in varsity, had I achieved what I set out to do, had I done all the things I had planned to do. And the sad answer was yes and NO. Yes I have achieved all I set out to, but only academically, I get a degree in 3 months time and that’s all I will get from Wits.

No I have not done all the things I planned to do that one cold and long car ride from the Eastern Cape. And that is where my problem is. I am entirely to blame; I focused on other things that I thought made me happy and on the most part I chickened out. In my entire life I can remember one event that I fully regret, it had to do with debating (the story of my life) and I hate how regret feels, so I am not going to put myself out on it’s path again. In the next 3 months I am going to do all the things that I planned to do, and I have already started doing some. Here under is a list of the things I planned to do when I got to Johannesburg/Wits and it’s broken down into 2 parts; 1) Stuff I wanted to do on my way to Johannesburg and 2) Stuff I wanted to do from my first month at Wits:

1)     

–       Eat Sushi (still think it’s disgusting)

–       Get a piercing (Ouch! But ok)

–       Bleach my hair (No pictures)

–       Wear my pants below my ass for a week (My mom would skin me alive so no pictures- I’m very scared of that woman)

–       Walk around with untied shoelaces for a week (Again my mom)

–       Buy a whole chicken and try to eat it alone (Always thought it would defeat me)

–       Lose lots of wait and audition for an advert on TV (I’ve tried to lose for a week in the past 3 years and considering the point above I will have to try harder)

–       Cut a pair of jeans and wear it (Mom again)

–       Have a joint ( My dad would arrest me- so maybe not)

–  

–       Go to a mosque (Salam malequa – I think )

–       Date a person from a different race group (White, Indian or coloured?)

–       Go to a live concert (Don’t know why I have never done this)

2)

-         Sit on the library lawns (Check, might do it again)

-         Bunk a lecture for no valid reason (my window of opportunity has passed for that one, I need that degree)

-         Go to a party on campus (check, not doing it again before I graduate)

-         Score a 100% for a test/exam (Have come close - 98% but never quite)

-         Kiss someone and run (should have done this in grade one, now it might just be misconstrued as sexual harassment so I’ll pass)

-         Swim in the pool by the matrix (Too deep I can’t swim well)

_Fall madly inlove and get my heart broken (I don’t know if this can happen in 3 months)

That’s about all the things I can remember wanting to do at some point in the past 2 years. So now I’d like to ask all my friends to keep me accountable here. Ask me what I have done each week and maybe with your help I can beat my chicken syndrome.

The big O

I am a big believer in diversity. I always try to make friends from as diverse backgrounds as possible. From Alexandra township to Sandton city and every place in between;I have friends from there. I have white friends and Chinese friends and almost any other race that chooses to grace Wits with it’s presence. The last thing I want is to make friends with people like me, I get enough of me when I am alone thank you very much.

The reason I am going on about the type of friends I make is because I want all my friends to know that I made them because they are different to me not because they are similar. So just in case you were wondering, I don’t know who Billy Joel is and I have never heard the Bohemian Rhapsody, as much as you don’t know who Tandiswa Mazwai is and you’ve probably never heard Somagwaza, and no I have never eaten curvier and I think sushi is disgusting, in the same way that you have probably never eaten sour milk and mphokoqo and you think tripe (the insides of a sheep) are disgusting.

So what am I saying here? I am saying I like people who are different from that’s why I make friends with them, I don’t want my white friends to call me mfethu because guess what? I have enough black friends who will. And there is something to learn in our differences. I had never had of the concept of poached eggs until I heard some of my white friends talking about it (only white people would make poached eggs), and now one of my friends has promised to make some for me one day (I can’t wait). And if you want, I can teach you how to make pap, samp and magwinya (just don’t make them when I come over to your house, I want white, Indian or Russian food depending on your race) and we can learn something from one another. After all that’s why we make friends at least that should be why.

This is my first ever blog post ever! I hope it will be one of many (thanks Rich for hooking me up) in the next few years. As my life takes different directions (and there will be many times when this happens) I will keep everyone updated through this blog.

Before I get carried away, let me just tell you a bit more about myself. My name is (as you might have already guessed) Oyena Gwebityala. I come from the dusty city of Umtata in the Eastern Cape. I am currently reading for a bachelor of Economic Sciences degree at Wits. I enjoy debating and debating and debating.

I hope you will get to know more about me in the coming months and years

Cheers for now.